Why memory is not enough on the day
Care consists of many small acts that become so ordinary you stop noticing them. The tablet you put out in the morning. The hand at the elbow on the way to the bathroom. Getting up for the third time at night. When someone asks about it in the appointment, none of it comes to mind, and what is not said cannot be assessed.
A care diary solves this in the simplest way: for two weeks you write down what actually happens. In the appointment you then have notes instead of gaps.
What belongs in the diary
Do not note the diagnosis, note the action. Not arthritis in the knee, but: steadied while getting up from the armchair, twice a day, a few minutes each time. Three details matter: what you do, how often, how long.
Distinguish the kind of help
It makes a difference whether you take something over completely, only guide, or only supervise. All three count. With dementia in particular, help often consists of reminding and supervising, and that is exactly what gets underestimated when telling the story.
Do not leave out the night
Support at night is the item most often missing. Anyone who gets up two or three times to accompany, to reassure or to change bedding never sleeps through themselves. Write down every night-time intervention, even a short one.
Capture the fluctuating days
Many conditions have good days and bad days. Two weeks are long enough for both to occur. Record both, and an honest picture emerges instead of a snapshot.
Checklist: areas that belong in the diary
- Getting up, sitting down, walking indoors, stairs, leaving the house
- Washing, showering, teeth, hair, shaving, applying cream
- Dressing and undressing, including choosing suitable clothes
- Preparing food, helping with eating, reminding to drink
- Using the toilet, incontinence care, changing laundry
- Preparing, prompting and checking medication
- Dressings, compression stockings, blood sugar, injections
- Organising and accompanying medical appointments
- Calming restlessness or anxiety, supervising a tendency to wander
- Night-time interventions with time and duration
How to keep it without it becoming a burden
A care diary should not add weight to your day. A sheet on the fridge or a notes app on your phone is entirely enough. Write in keywords and as soon after the situation as you can; recalling it in the evening almost always loses half of it.
If several people help, all of them should write. The son who comes twice a week sees different things from the daughter who is there daily. Only together does the full picture appear.
Two weeks is a good span. Shorter becomes too random, much longer is hard to sustain. It is best to start as soon as the application is in, so the record is ready in good time before the appointment.
Using it well in the appointment
Put the diary openly on the table and say at the start that you have been keeping notes. Assessors appreciate it because it makes their work easier. Do not read out everything; reach for it when a question comes.
Ask a second person to be there who can calmly add what is missing when the person needing care plays things down out of pride. That is not disloyalty, it is simply necessary. How the appointment runs is set out in Applying for a care grade; what is assessed there is explained in Care grades 1 to 5.
Frequently asked questions about the care diary
No, it is voluntary. Nobody demands it, but it helps you considerably because you do not have to assemble everything from memory during the appointment.
You do not need a stopwatch. A realistic estimate is enough, such as five minutes or a quarter of an hour. More important than the exact minute is that the help appears at all and how often it occurs.
Yes. Supervising and guiding are forms of support. Someone who has to stay present during a shower so that nothing happens is providing help, even without doing the washing.
Many care funds and care support points hand out templates, and the advisory service under section 7a SGB XI helps with this too. A sheet you draw up yourself is just as valid, as long as activity, frequency and duration are recognisable.
Then record the days that remain. Even three or four documented days are better than none. Add verbally what happened not to occur in that period but is otherwise needed regularly.